Dopamine made me do it: From addiction to freedom

Sometimes a book can shift everything. Dopamine Nation by Dr Anna Lembke did just that for me.

I consider myself an ordinary guy, juggling work and life, enjoying movies, sports and time with friends. I have two beautiful daughters, just over one and three, who love hitting the off button on my laptop the moment they’re back from the park at about 5pm.

Still, through it all, I was quietly struggling with habits that were eroding my health and productivity – namely, YouTube and alcohol.

I’ve never thought of myself as a heavy drinker. But I recognise the craving at the end of a long day for a glass of wine or a gin and tonic. And it rarely stops at one. More often than not, it’s two or three, all justified with lines like: “I haven’t finished dinner yet, so one more small glass.”

YouTube works the same way. I’d start my day watching game highlights or sneak in a trailer between tasks. But it never ended there. Doomscrolling took over.

Radical honesty

One of the first concepts Lembke introduces is “radical honesty”. Addicts don’t just lie to others – they lie to themselves. I’d spent years downplaying my drinking and procrastination, convincing myself it wasn’t that serious. But addiction thrives in silence.

Admitting I was addicted was terrifying. Not because I thought I was morally flawed, but because the word “addiction” carries so much shame. Dopamine Nation helped me see it not as failure, but as a biological trap I could learn to escape.

Lembke also confronts our modern obsession with comfort. She argues that pain is not the enemy; in fact, discomfort is necessary. Like getting fit or losing weight, growth hurts. Avoiding pain while chasing pleasure is a dangerous loop. Learning to sit with discomfort is a skill.

Know the biology

Understanding the science was a turning point for me. Dopamine is a neurotransmitter that regulates motivation, reward and pleasure. It’s released when we do things that feel good, like eating, achieving goals or receiving praise. But it doesn’t just make us feel good; it drives us to seek out those same behaviours again.

The most addictive behaviours are those that offer intermittent rewards. BF Skinner, a behavioural psychologist, found that rewarding behaviour unpredictably makes it more persistent. Think slot machines or social media likes.

To understand this at a primal level, think about our caveman ancestors. Every day, they needed to hunt or forage for food – success wasn’t guaranteed. When they found food (a reward), their brains lit up with dopamine. When the dopamine faded, they had to get up and try again. That reward loop kept them going. It still drives us today.

The problem is, when our brains are overstimulated, they adapt by lowering our baseline dopamine levels. So, we feel worse, and need more of the behaviour to feel better. More videos. Another drink. One more bet.

The power of abstinence

Lembke’s most powerful suggestion? Stop completely. Not tapering, not moderation. Fourteen days of total abstinence. That’s how long it takes the dopamine system to reset.

I resisted. I thought I could cut back, manage it. But even a small dose kept the dopamine loop alive.

Eventually, I committed. I removed alcohol from view, deleted YouTube from my phone, and blocked it on my laptop. I told close friends what I was doing. It was brutal. I was anxious, restless, irritable and drank a lot of tea.

Around day 10, something shifted. My mind felt quieter. I wasn’t fantasising about that end-of-day drink. I could focus. I was sleeping better. I noticed little joys again. By day 14, I felt like I had woken up from a long, dull fog. The cravings hadn’t disappeared, but they’d lost their grip. I had regained the power to choose.

Reclaim your life

Addiction can wreck your health, your finances and your relationships. Companies are doing their best to get us addicted by employing armies of behavioural scientists to keep us engaged. Gambling apps use the same techniques, only more aggressively.

Gambling often starts as “harmless fun”. And no-one thinks they’ll lose more than they can afford – until they do.

But addictive behaviours aren’t just limited to screens, substances or the roll of the dice. For many others, money has also been a trap. Not in the sense of luxury or greed, but in chasing a dopamine hit through spending on gadgets, clothes, nights out or even something simple like takeout. People use the excuse that they’re “treating” themselves or just staying current.

The truth is, they are spending more than they earn, often to keep up appearances or fill some internal void. The thrill of a new purchase or a risky bet gives a fleeting sense of control and reward, but like any high, it fades quickly, leaving behind guilt, stress and financial strain.

Addiction doesn’t have to be dramatic. It can chip away at you. My drinking and YouTube habits didn’t blow up my life overnight. They quietly dulled it. I told myself I was unwinding, that it was harmless entertainment.

Reading Dopamine Nation didn’t fix me overnight. But it gave me the language, the understanding and the tools to change. I wasn’t broken. My brain had just adapted to a world of overstimulation.

These days, I mostly steer clear of YouTube and alcohol. I’ve built new habits and leaned on support. The cravings still come, especially under stress. But now I see them for what they are: echoes of a loop I’ve stepped out of.

If you’re caught in a loop – whether it’s overspending, gambling, scrolling, or just staying constantly busy – read the book. Learn how your brain works. Try the 14-day reset. It’s hard. But it’s worth it.

For the first time in years, I feel like I’m living my life – not just chasing it.

Dr Thomas Brennan is CEO and co-founder of Franc Group (Pty) Ltd, a platform that makes smart investing simple and accessible to everyone. He has over 20 years of experience in management, product development, software engineering, machine learning and financial services.